


The Tales of Brendon Urie

by sadkittiehours



Series: Brendon the Cat That Turned Human verse [2]
Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Catboys & Catgirls, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 02:54:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30082377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadkittiehours/pseuds/sadkittiehours
Summary: The first thing Brendon remembers is the feeling of being surrounded in warmth and then being squeezed until he felt like he was going to die--although he didn't know a thing about death, at the time--and finally being assaulted by more new smells than he could ever hope to identify. Well, weeks later, he can identify them, but that's besides the point.He can't see and he can't hear, but he knows it's his mom that licks him all over, cleaning him up and getting rid of the stuff that's on his body. He instinctively crawls closer to her warmth, searching for something, something. There are several more warm bodies pressed against him, keeping him from whatever it is he's looking for.The Temptation of Ryan Ross from Brendons POV
Relationships: Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie
Series: Brendon the Cat That Turned Human verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2213340
Kudos: 1





	The Tales of Brendon Urie

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was taken off the [ Big God Damn Masterlist](https://fobfics.tumblr.com/post/34177428707/okubyokitsunes-big-goddamn-masterlistpdf/) you can use that link to download the pdf of almost 500 pages of bandom fic.

The first thing Brendon remembers is the feeling of being surrounded in warmth and then being squeezed until he felt like he was going to die--although he didn't know a thing about death, at the time--and finally being assaulted by more new smells than he could ever hope to identify. Well, weeks later, he can identify them, but that's besides the point. 

He can't see and he can't hear, but he knows it's his mom that licks him all over, cleaning him up and getting rid of the stuff that's on his body. He instinctively crawls closer to her warmth, searching for something, something. There are several more warm bodies pressed against him, keeping him from whatever it is he's looking for. 

It's not until one of them move to the side that he's finally able to put his mouth to a nipple and suckle. 

That's the first thing he remembers--everything being secure and warm, and then everything changing. Brendon is the smallest in his litter, half the size of his brothers and sisters, and they tease him for it. 

They're all pure Bombay, solid black with blue or brown eyes. Brendon's are browns. His mom's are a weird orange. He really likes them. 

The breeder comes in to check on them every day, at around the same time, and his mom always hisses at her and sits on them so the breeder can't get at them. It's something the woman is used to, because she doesn't do anything other than change the litter box and add more food and water to the bowls. Sometimes she brings in a new blanket, or more newspaper, if they've soiled the old stuff. 

Finally, a few weeks after his ears clear out and his eyes start to see, his mom lets the breeder near them. She picks each of them up and examines them, checking for the sex and naming them after she slips a coloured ribbon around their necks. His siblings are playing with the ribbon when she finally spots Brendon and picks him up, frowning. 

"You certainly are a little one, aren't you?" she asks and Brendon mewls at her loudly. She tips his tail up and Brendon can't stop wiggling around. Sighing, she finally puts him down and puts a green ribbon around his neck. "We'll call you Lily, then," she says, patting his head.

After she leaves, his mom pulls him to her and starts to lick his head. "Humans," she says mockingly. "She thinks you're a female, then? Ridiculous." 

Brendon purrs and knocks his head into her chin. He loves bath time, which his siblings don't seem to agree with. He loves when his mom pays him special attention, though. He hasn't really started to be able to speak right, but he knows his mom knows how much he loves her.

\---

"Ha ha, Brendon the runt! Brendon the runt!" Mason, Brendon's older litter mate says, batting at Brendon's ears meanly.

"Stop!" Brendon shouts, trying to back away from the others clawed hand, but he's still smaller than the rest of his siblings, and they can still pounce on him and keep him down and he can't get back up. 

"Why should I?" Mason asks, biting Brendon's flailing paw. "You can't stop me! The humans all think you're a girl, anyways, so you have to submit!" 

Yowling, Brendon tries to wriggle out of his brother's grip. 

"Mason," their mom says, voice stern. Mason immediately stills and looks up at her, eyes fake innocent. "Let him up. Go play with the others." 

Mason glares down at him and says, "Yes, mom," before getting off of Brendon and wandering off. 

Brendon stays on his back, trying not to feel too humiliated. He makes a small noise and his mom sighs. 

"C'mere, honey," she says softly, grabbing him by the scruff before he can get up himself, and drawing him into the protective circle of her paws. She sighs again, and Brendon feels bad that he causes her so much stress. "You have to learn how to defend yourself. They might be bigger, but you're a cat. You're cunning. I know you can figure out a way to beat them," she says, pausing only to lick behind his ears. She doesn't favor him as much as feel bad for him. They're her first litter, and she's not exactly ashamed that she produced a runt, but she's not exactly happy about it, either. 

"I didn't mean to be so small," Brendon says, voice quiet. If it was up to him, he'd be the biggest kitten in the litter. He wouldn't be so small and helpless.

"I know, honey," she says, nuzzling his neck. "Tomorrow, the breeder is bringing in other humans to look at you all and see if they want to buy you. You'll be on your best behavior, won't you?"

Brendon nods. "Of course, mother." He doesn't want to be sold. The breeder said something about, if he got bigger, he could be a breeder cat like his mom, though, so hopefully she won't be looking to sell him. "Love you, mom," he says softly, closing his eyes for a nap. His mom purrs in reply.

\---

The breeder leads two humans into their room. They're new and smell funny and Brendon doesn't like them. The woman coos over how small he is, but the man frowns at him.

"Do you figure she'll get any bigger?" he asks the breeder, frown deepening when the woman smiles indulgently down at Brendon. 

"We're not sure," the breeder says, trying not to frown herself. "As with all runts, we can hope that she'll get bigger, but it's not a guarantee. She should still be good for breeding, though." She sounds a little doubtful and the male nods. 

"You have others though, correct?" he asks, grabbing the woman's hand when she stops looking at Brendon. "Two males and two more females, right?" 

The breeder nods back. "Yes, sir, of course. They're near their mother, where the food is. You can see them, of course." She leads them away from Brendon, talking about shows and breeding and pedigree. 

Brendon sits down on his rump and bats a piece of string that someone left on the floor. He's glad they didn't want him. The man smelled mean, and Brendon doesn't want to be taken away, anyways.

\---

When he wakes up from his nap, Kara is gone. It makes him sad, because she was the nicest of his siblings. She never tried to push Brendon away from the food, or tried to pin him down. She also never made fun of him for being so small. She was born first and was one of the biggest, so maybe that was why she liked him so much.

In the next few weeks, more humans come by to look at them, but none of them really give Brendon a second glance. He's the runt, so no one wants him, but that's okay. That means he can stay with his mom. 

A woman who smells like a lot of cats comes in and buys Mason, saying he'll be perfect for the shows and for breeding. That leaves Kyla, Matt and Brendon. He has no idea what makes people look over Kyla and Matt, since they're good cats, too. They're not as bossy as Mason or as nice as Kara, though, so maybe that's why. 

The breeder tells them that there are going to be more people in in a few minutes, but they're not breeders or showers. They're just pet owners. So she gives them little treats. Kyla and Matt eat theirs immediately and then go over to nap in a sleepy pile. Brendon knows he's not invited. He brings his treat over to his mom and asks what it is. 

"Catnip, honey," she says, stretching lazily. She eyes it, but makes no move to take it. "It's to make you calm down and sleep. Pet owners don't like to see very energetic cats, usually. Go ahead and eat it, honey." 

Brendon does, and it tastes funny, but not bad, really. Like with Kyla and Matt, it hits him pretty soon, but he doesn't get tired. Instead, he gets a little excited, going to the curtains and trying to catch them with his claws. After he shreds the bottom of the curtains, he tries to jump onto a stack of magazines. They wobble when he skids onto them and the tower falls, spreading magazines over the floor. 

The breeder walks in, with a smiling woman and two little girls, but the smile slips away when she surveys the damage Brendon's made. The breeder sighs, weary.

"Oh, Lily," she says, shaking her head at Brendon. "Bad Lily. You've been a bad girl.”

She picks Brendon up by the scruff of his neck and says, "Excuse me," to the woman and brings Brendon to a part of the house he's never been. His tail curls to wrap around his back paw as she keeps going. She deposits him in a room that has basins and a cold floor and smells like pee. "Stay here," she says, leaving and closing the door after. 

Brendon makes a pitiful noise and scratches at the door, trying to get out, back to his mom and Kyla and Matt. He doesn't want to be in here. 

\---

When the breeder finally comes back for him, she looks marginally happier than she did when she left him. "Come on out, then. Time to go back." She picks him up, but cuddles him to her chest instead of holding him by his scruff. Brendon purrs softly. 

The room is oddly silent when she deposits him there and leaves. His mom is on the top of the scratching post, licking her paws delicately. He looks around, but everything's cleaned up, and Matt and Kyla are nowhere to be found. 

"Where did everyone go?" he asks quietly, curling up in a ball. 

His mom pauses in cleaning and looks at him. "That woman bought your brother and sister and took them home with her for her children," she says easily. Brendon wonders if she's sad that all of her children other than him are gone. 

"Oh," he says, burying his nose under his paws. They might not have been the nicest to him, but they were still his brothers and sisters, and he misses them. He misses Mason pinning him to the ground and making fun of him, and Kara's purr when she cleaned him for their mom.

He feels warmth around him and when he knows his mom is curled up around him, nosing at his back in sympathy. She might not be as sad as he would think she should be, but she doesn't like seeing him sad, either. "It's okay, Brendon. They'll be taken care of." 

"I know," Brendon sighs, closing his eyes. Maybe the breeder will keep him, so he can stay with his mom. He hopes so.

\---

Brendon wakes up when the door to their room opens. The breeder is leading someone inside, a woman, Brendon guesses. "Her temperament isn't what we desire for breeding purposes, and she probably would do poorly in shows. Since no one else has wanted her, I'm willing to give her away. She's purebred, of course, but I can't waste the resources to care for her if she's not going to be bred or shown. If you want her, she's yours." 

The woman kneels on the floor and strokes the fur behind Brendon's ear. "Hey there little thing. You want to come home with me?" Brendon meows, "No," because he doesn't, but humans don't speak cat.

Smiling, the woman looks at the breeder. "She'll be perfect. I'll take her off your hands at once," she says, reaching out to pick Brendon up and put him protectively in the crook of her arm. 

When she turns, Brendon catches a look at his mother. She looks a little sad, and it makes him sad, too. "I love you, mom," he says, trying not to sound too sad for her sake. 

"You'll be fine, Brendon," his mom says back, but he knows she's saying, "I love you, too". 

\---

Brendon's new home smells funny. It's full of different cat smells. His brothers and sisters and mom all smelled like family and home. Everything here is new and unfamiliar, and Brendon spends the first few days hidden under the couch. 

His new owner smiles at him and says, "I'm not sure how I feel about Lily as a name for you. How about Molly? I think you'd be a great Molly." She doesn't bother him when he hides under the couch, though. 

Unlike his birth home, in this place he has free range. He doesn't have to live in one room. Which is why he's able to hide under the living room couch. The other cats sort of sniff around where he's hiding, somewhat interested, but not enough to go digging for him. 

He watches everyone from his hiding place. His new owner smiles a lot and sings and reads books while petting whatever cat is in her lap. She doesn't frown if any of them have any accidents or make messes of things. And she feeds them dry stuff instead of wet stuff from cans like the breeder did. 

Finally, Brendon comes out from hiding, hesitantly walking through the different rooms of the house, smelling and taking everything in. It's not such a bad place, he guesses. It's just not his home, and he misses his mom. He misses his siblings to a lesser extent, but the longing is still there. 

The loneliness makes him curl up in a little ball in a room with a big bed. It doesn't smell enough like the new owner to be her bedroom. He guesses it's for people that sleep there that aren't her, then.

"Hey, what're you doing in here?" a voice interrupts, making him look up. There's a brown and white cat sitting in the doorway, staring at him with a quirked head. "The human says you're Molly." It’s not a question, but Brendon knows what he means. 

Brendon stares at him for a second before realizing he's being rude. "I, um. I wandered around and decided I liked it here?" he asks more than says. It's true, though; the room's curtains are open a bit, and the spot he's in has been sun warmed all day, probably. It feels nice against his fur. 

The cat stands up and goes into the room, circling Brendon and sniffing him. "Hm. Well, my name is Jake. There's three others, and they'll probably introduce themselves sooner or later. They're usually busy, though." He makes a noise that sounds like he's scolding them, even though they're not around.

"I'm Brendon," Brendon says. "The breeder thought I was a girl, so I just go with it, I guess." He shrugs. 

Jake sniffs him again. "Well, it would make a difference if you were, because you're not fixed and we're all toms." 

Brendon watches him, confused. "What's that got to do with anything?" he asks. What does it matter if he’s a boy cat or a girl cat? 

"Well," Jake says, going to Brendon's back and batting at his tail. Brendon twists his head so he can watch him, flicking his tail away. "When you go into heat, we'd probably want to mate." 

"What? I don't get it," Brendon says, trying to figure that out in his head. His mom never talked to him about breeding--he assumes she didn't have enough time for it. 

"That's okay," Jake says, moving back to the front of Brendon and leaning down to lick his nose. "See you around." He leaves with a flick of his tail and Brendon stays where he is, thoroughly bewildered. 

\---

The other three cats in the house are Matthew, Taylor and Sean. They're tortoiseshell, black with white spots and a weird striped grey. The owner calls them Dreamer, Calf and Ghost. Brendon doesn't really get it, nor does he know what any of those things are. Usually, humans name animals after people or objects, but Brendon's never heard of those things, before. Jake's second name is Adam, which means he's named after somebody. The owner is sort of weird, in Brendon's opinion. 

Matthew and Sean leave him alone, but Jake sometimes finds him to play with his tail or say weird things about mating and heat. Brendon largely doesn't get it, so he largely doesn't really pay attention. 

Taylor was standoffish, at first, but after a week or so, he started to stick to Brendon's side. It's strange; even though they all know he's not one, they all treat him like a girl. Taylor will randomly pounce on him and pin him to the floor, biting at the back of his neck. Brendon always thrashes, but he's still sort of on the small side. He's not even five months, yet, and all the other cats are a few years old, already. 

None of them are purebreds, though. Brendon knows--he asked. Sean snorted when Brendon said he was pure Bombay, so Brendon doesn't bring it up again. He's just curious, really. He's still pretty much a kitten, and he likes figuring out stuff. 

Even though it's not his home, after a few weeks, Brendon starts to get used to living with the new owner. He gets used to everyone treating him like he's really a girl, and he gets used to not having his mom or siblings. It's not bad, exactly, and he's sort of content. At least the other cats are nice-ish. It's good enough. 

\---

A few months after Brendon gets to the owner's house, Brendon goes out into the backyard and stops, shocked into stillness. Matthew and Sean are out there, but they're doing something Brendon's never seen before.

Sean is flat on his belly and Matthew is on top of him, making weird motions with his hindquarters, biting down on the back of Sean's neck every time his back half twitches. Sean is hissing, ears flat back and mouth open in an angry pant. 

Whatever it is they're doing, it looks like it hurts. Brendon thinks that Sean looks upset. The weirdest thing is that it's sort of the same way Taylor sometimes pins him to the floor and it makes Brendon a little upset to see it. He doesn't want to do that. It looks painful. 

The next time Taylor tries to do it, Brendon's going to have to do something drastic. 

\---

The owner picks him up one day and rubs her nose against his. He doesn't really like it, but he doesn't see any use in clawing her. She just smiles and pats his head when he does it.

"We're taking you in to get fixed tomorrow!" she says cheerfully. "We wouldn't want you to go into heat and then have one of our old boys fill you up with kittens, would we?" She's smiling, but Brendon makes an unhappy noise. 

He's supposed to be a breeder like his mom. Of course he's supposed to have kittens. Why would she try to take that away from him? That would be awful. 

Although, when she sets him down and putters away to the kitchen, Brendon understands what Jake's been saying, finally. Since he's not fixed, he can go into heat and then have kittens. Well, that's what he wants, so that means he doesn't want to get fixed. He also doesn't want kittens with any of the cats around here, though. 

The owner comes back in with a glass of something and food in her hands. "You excited to get your operation tomorrow?" she asks, looking at him. He meows in the negative but she doesn't understand anything so she just smiles. "Of course you are." 

Brendon goes back under the couch to formulate his plan. There's no way he's going to stay and get fixed. Not if he's going to have kittens. 

\---

That night, he yowls at a very late hour until the owner comes out of her room and shuffles to the back door, tired and sleep-stupid. She opens the door and Brendon shoots out, going to the place he usually uses the bathroom. None of the other cats join him, and it's sort of chilly outside, so the owner closes the door most of the way, trying not to let the cold in. 

She disappears from in front of the door, probably going to get something to drink, and Brendon takes the opportunity to jump onto the patio furniture, then onto the top of the fence. He takes one last look at his home before walking the line of the fence and jumping off into the front yard. 

He lands on his feet, of course, and as soon as he's landed, he jolts off, running before the owner realizes he's gone and tries to go after him. There's no way Brendon will let her catch him, though. He's going to be a breeder and he won't be fixed. No way. 

Brendon runs and runs until his legs start to get tired and sore. The pads of his paws hurt, so he stops, sitting on his rump to lick at his paws. Whatever he's sitting on, it's cool from the night and it doesn't hurt his paws as much as the rocks in the grass did. 

Suddenly, there's a bright light and a loud, jarring noise. Brendon jumps, running away from the lights. He watches the large thing pass by him, going faster than anything Brendon's ever seen before. 

Now that he's looking around and listening, Brendon realizes that it's sort of quiet outside. There are bugs making night noise, and the occasional sound he doesn't recognize, but other than that, everything's quiet. Brendon's not sure how to feel about that--everywhere he's lived, there's always been the sound of other cats around him. 

Brendon keeps moving, even though his paws are still sore. He's never moved this much in his short life, but he's determined to get away from his old home. He doesn't want the owner to find him and try to fix him. 

\---

Brendon ends up between two buildings. There are garbage cans everywhere, and something that smells like food, so he's trying to find it. He's having a hard time, because he can't actually get into the trash cans where the food smell is coming from. He's desperately hungry--he doesn't remember the last time he ate anything. It's been a few days since he left, and the only thing he's eaten were some bugs he'd come across. That and grass, but that made him puke, so he stopped after a while. Luckily, it's rained a few times, so he never runs out of water. 

Unluckily, it rains, and Brendon hates water. He's still small, though, so it's easy for him to find places to hide from it. 

He's alone and hungry and desperately misses his family and wants someone to pet him. But that doesn't mean he wants to go back to his second home. He wants to go back to his mom. 

People walk by the place he's at, trying to get into the trash cans, but they don't stop to coo at him or try to pet him like people always did before. They walk right on by without giving him a second look. Brendon even tries to make pitiful faces and noises at them, but none of them stop. 

Finally, finally, the lid to the trash can moves an inch, and Brendon can smell more than just food. There's rot and waste in there, but beneath it all is the scene of his next meal, and Brendon keeps going. 

A noise a few feet away from him makes him stop trying to nose the lid off, looking towards it. There's a blond, scruffy looking guy just standing there, standing at him. Brendon keeps his paws hooked in the little space between can and lid and stares at the man unblinkingly. 

The man finally moves, to bring something up to his face. It clicks and flashes and Brendon has to sit down because of the way he's blinded. There's more clicks and flashes but Brendon largely doesn't see it. 

The man brings the thing down from his face and looks at Brendon again. "If Jon was here," the man says, voice low, "he'd be all over you, you know. You're sort of really adorable." 

Brendon cocks his head to the side, staring at the man. There are small black dots in his vision, but he ignores them. He meows pitifully, taking a step forward.

"Yeah, yeah," the man says, digging in the bag on his shoulder that Brendon didn't notice before. "Jon would kill me if I didn't." He takes something out of his bag and there's a crinkly noise that Brendon recognizes as foil before food is being set in front of him. "Leftovers, I'm afraid. Hopefully you'll enjoy it. See you later, little guy," the man says, patting Brendon's head before walking away. 

Brendon waits two seconds before he gnaws at the food happily.

\---

He keeps going down the street, looking for anything. His paws feel like they're going to fall off and he desperately wants somewhere warm to sleep for the night. He's been sleeping in gutters and beneath dumpsters when he can find them, staying out of the cold and the wet. 

At the end of the street, Brendon smells something that reminds him of his previous home. Cats, his nose tells him. And if there are cats, there's got to be humans. He bounds towards where he can smell cats, but he hesitates right in front of it. If there are cats already there, then maybe the people inside won't want him, too. 

Turning to the side, Brendon sniffs around. It certainly smells like there's someone in the house, so he climbs up the stairs, curling up in a little ball in front of the door. He'll just sleep during the night and when the morning comes, he'll meow until whoever is inside comes outside. 

\---

A loud thump wakes Brendon up. He looks around and there's a newspaper next to him. It must have woken him up. Stretching, he sits on his haunches, staring at the door and demanding the human come out without meowing. 

Finally, after the sun rises a little more, the door opens and Brendon looks up. There's a man standing in the doorway, staring down at him with a startled expression. He smells funny and looks even funnier, but Brendon can't really afford to be choosy right now. 

He starts to yowl, loud and imploringly at the human. He would like to go in now, and he'd like something to drink and something soft to sleep on. The human stares at him for a bit longer before shrugging and opening the door wider. 

"Okay," he says, voice soft and deep. "Come in, then." 

Brendon happily scurries into the door and the man bends to pick up his newspaper before following Brendon inside.

\---

The man's house smells like ink and dust and male, which is reasonable, since he's the only one that lives in it. Brendon likes the smell a lot more than his second home. It's nice. 

"Well, what kind of kitty are you?" The man asks, sitting down and patting the spot on the couch next to him. Brendon takes the invitation and jumps up next to him, curling up and looking at the man. "A pretty kitty, that's right," the man says and Brendon purrs. He's gorgeous, if he does say so himself. "What is your name?" 

"Brendon," Brendon meows, but the man doesn't understand him, of course. 

Instead, he reaches over and lifts one of Brendon's legs up, touching the area where Brendon pees. Brendon knows he's looking for if Brendon is a boy cat or a girl cat, and he stays still. He doesn't really want to have a girl's name again. 

"Boy cat, then," the man says, putting Brendon's leg down. "I think I'll name you Oscar Wilde. Oscar for short. Do you think you can handle a name like that?" 

Brendon bends so he can lick himself. 

"I'll take that as a yes." 

\---

Ryan, Brendon learns, is the man's name. He knows because when the man with a scruffy beard comes over and starts yelling at him, he yells "Ryan" a lot. Brendon is a smart cat--he can put two and two together. 

The scruffy man is called Spencer, and he glares at Brendon like Brendon did something wrong. Which is ridiculous, because he's been nothing but a wonderful cat since he came. Brendon tries to look his cutest and meow softly up at Spencer but Spencer gets a pinched look on his face. 

Fine. Brendon doesn't have to try to make Spencer love him. Even though Ryan clearly holds a lot of affection for the snooty human. It doesn't matter to Brendon at all. Cat's aren't supposed to care about that sort of thing.

Really, Brendon sort of does want Spencer to like him, though. Whenever he comes over, Brendon tries to sit in his lap, like Ryan likes, but Spencer doesn't allow it. 

Now Jon, on the other hand, is awesome. Brendon really, really likes Jon. Jon has warm hands and smells like cats and clearly thinks Brendon is pretty awesome, too. Brendon could spend hours in Jon's lap, purring and getting pet. Jon promises Brendon that he'll take him to meet Dylan and Clover, one day. Brendon's sort of excited. 

Ryan is a really good owner. He's clearly never owned a cat before--he sets newspaper out for Brendon the first few days, and Brendon just shreds it, because that's what he always does. He piddles in the corner of the laundry room but Ryan doesn't get mad. He calls Jon and Jon brings over a litter box, which Brendon appreciates. Jon is a good friend. 

Besides not knowing about where Brendon's supposed to go to the bathroom, Ryan is good at other things. He always feeds Brendon wet food that tastes good, and slips him human food sometimes, too. His lap is always free for Brendon to curl up in and he always has pets for Brendon, no matter what his mood's like. 

In the few days Brendon's been with him, Ryan has carried him everywhere and taken him along wherever he went. One morning, though, while Brendon is napping, he says, "Okay, Oscar." Brendon doesn't even open one eye. "We have to get out of here. I've got places to go, and I need to find a sitter for you for when I have to go to work again." He scrunches up his face at the thought. "Where's the cat leash?" 

He puts up with Ryan putting the harness and clip-on leash on him because there's really no sense in kicking up a fuss about it. 

"Let's go, Oscar," Ryan says, leading him out the door and to the car. 

Brendon's pretty excited about the car ride. 

\---

Brendon is sort of terrified of Bunny. She has angry eyes and she sniffs him in inappropriate places and looks at him weird. 

"Well, aren't you precious?" she says, pinning him down and licking his neck. Brendon is sort of too afraid to say anything. "What's your name, then?" she asks. 

"Um. Brendon?" He's not so sure how he feels about Bunny washing him. "You?" he asks, because he's a polite cat. 

She shrugs. "Bunny is good enough. You ever thought of having kittens?" 

Brendon finally perks up. "Yes! I was supposed to be a breeder, but then I got given away and my last owner said she wanted to fix me, but then I couldn't have kittens." Which would have been a tragedy. 

Bunny fixes him with a weird sort of smug look. "Maybe you can have some of my kittens, then." 

"That, uh. Maybe?" Brendon isn't so sure he'd ever want Bunny's kittens. They would probably be just as scary and creepy as she is. And Brendon doesn't fancy being afraid of his own children. 

Just when he thinks he's going to have to agree to have her kittens, Ryan scoops him up and says, "Um. I'll get back to you on that one." Brendon happily curls up in Ryan's arms, glad to be away from Bunny. 

\---

They drive straight from Bunny's house to see someone named Pete. As soon as Pete opens the door, Brendon is hit with the smell of male cat urine. He blinks. Ryan makes a face and they both go into the house, Brendon securely in Ryan's arms. 

Pete says some things about something or other, Brendon's not really paying attention. He's focused on the dog that's across the room and the angry looking cat on the bookshelf.

The dog ambles up and the cat jumps from its perch. The angry cat circles Brendon, sniffing once before turning tail and going back to his shelf. The dog snorts at him and flops down, tired. 

“What’s your name?” the dog asks the Brendon. 

Delighted, Brendon takes the way the dog flops down as an invitation and climbs onto him, settling down and purring. “Brendon!” He chirps happily. “Ryan calls me Oscar Wilde, though. Who’re you?” he asks.

“Phil, but you can call me Hemingway. That’s Patrick up there. Ignore him, he’s just pissy because Pete named him Pumpkin Dumplings.” Hemingway snorts, and Patrick's face looks like it gets even more pinched. 

“Hi Patrick!” Brendon says happily, tail twitching. He's glad to have new friends. Brendon's pretty sure he's going to really enjoy spending time with these two. 

\---

Life, as Brendon's heard on Ryan's television, goes on. Ryan leaves during the day and comes back in the afternoon. Sometimes he doesn't have to leave at all. Brendon figures out that the days Ryan doesn't leave are the days he's happiest. Really, Brendon doesn't understand why humans go off and do things that make them miserable for most of the day. It makes no sense. 

Jon and Spencer come over a lot and Brendon really enjoys them, even if only Jon enjoys him back. Spencer stops glaring at him, at least! Brendon thinks that's a step in the right direction. 

Largely, Brendon is a lot happier than he's ever been. Sometimes, he misses his mom or siblings, but usually he's too content to think about sad things like that. Cats don't concern themselves with such trivial matters. 

\---

During the day when Ryan's gone Pete takes care of him. Which means Brendon gets to spend his days with Patrick and Hemingway. Patrick is sort of crazy and sort of obsessed with his owner, but Brendon doesn't mind. Hemingway is a lot more relaxed, and he and Brendon nap together a lot of the time. Hemingway is one of the nicest dogs Brendon's ever met. 

Pete comes up to him one day and squats on the floor so he can pat Brendon's head. "Hey little buddy. I'm gonna go ahead and take you home, since I have some errands on that side of town anyways. Up and at 'em!" Pete says a lot of weird things Brendon doesn't understand. 

He calls goodbye to Patrick from his perch on the bookshelf and nuzzles Hemingway's paw and willingly lets Pete pick him up and take him to the car. Brendon sort of loves the car. It's awesome. 

When they get back to Ryan's house, Brendon gets excited. Being home means Ryan will be home, soon. Brendon sort of adores Ryan. Pete picks Brendon up and goes up to the front door. He curses when he rattles the doorknob but it doesn't open. 

"I would assume it's locked," a woman says. Pete and Brendon both turn their heads to look at her. 

She's got long black hair and big black boots and she smells like cigarette smoke and cats. She must be the human who takes care of the cats in the house, then. "I'm Victoria," she says, smiling at Pete before her eyes slip to Brendon. "And aren't you a cutie pie?" 

Pete gets off of Ryan's porch and goes over to Victoria's smiling widely. "Well hello there! I didn't know Ryan's neighbor was such a beauty." He's grinning in a way that makes all of his teeth show and Brendon thinks it looks silly. 

"Save it," Victoria says. "I'm a lesbian." 

Pete's smile slips but he recovers quickly. "A woman of few words, I like it. My name would be Pete, and this is Ryan's cat, Oscar Wilde." 

Victoria puts out a hand for Pete to shake and she looks at Brendon again. "Well, you certainly are a cute kitty. I'm surprised Ross has you. Would you like to meet my cats?" 

"Yes, I would," Brendon meows and Victoria smiles. 

She clicks her fingers and out of the open door appears three cats. Well, really, there are three cats and a kitten, but the kitten is being held by the orange cat, so he doesn't really appear of his own will. Pete sets Brendon down and Brendon lets himself be circled and sniffed at.

Finally, the tabby puts his burden down and stretches, keeping one eye on the kitten at all times. "Well hello there, neighbor," the tabby says, voice friendly. "I don't think we've ever had the pleasure of meeting. My name would be Gabriel and this is my delightful kitten Nate." He nods at the kitten and Brendon smiles at both of them.

"Hello! I'm Brendon. It's nice to meet you. Is he really yours? Who are you two?" he asks. The other two cats are lounging around Victoria's feet. 

Gabe tilts his head to the side. "You certainly do talk a lot, don't you? That's Alex and Ryland." 

"I'm Alex," the white one with black spots says. "He's Ryland." He nods to the other cat.

Nate ambles over to Brendon and bats at his tail with a paw. "I'm not really a kitten, you know. I'm probably older than you! But I was the runt, and Gabe insists that I'm his. So. I put up with it." 

Brendon nods. "I was the runt of my litter, too," he whispers, like he's telling Nate a secret. Nate nods solemnly. 

"Okay, my bundle of wonder!" Gabe says, catching Nate with a paw and pulling him close. "Time for your bath." He starts to lick Nate. 

Sighing, Nate gives Brendon a "you see?" look. Brendon hides a smile.

\---

Pete takes him back to see Victoria and her cats a few times a week and Brendon is pretty delighted. He's used to living in places with lots of cats, and while Patrick and Hemingway are really awesome, it's just not the same. Especially when all Patrick wants to talk about is how much he doesn't like Pete, which anyone can see isn't true. Hemingway likes to sleep, since he's sort of old. 

Nate has a lot of energy, though, and he can keep up with Brendon, which Brendon needs. He always has energy thrumming through him, but Ryan doesn't really like letting Brendon outside. He's probably afraid Brendon will run away, but Brendon has no such thoughts. Well, not unless Ryan tries to fix him, anyways. 

He even likes when Gabe grabs him and washes him. It's not the same as his mother, but it's still comforting. Nate purrs and presses against Ryland or Alex when Gabe bathes Brendon. 

It's during one of his baths that Gabe brings something up. "So," he says, pausing to lick behind Brendon's ear. "I hear through the grapevine that you're trying to have kittens." 

Brendon doesn't ask how Gabe heard that, because Gabe is pretty awesome and knows pretty much everything. He nods, purring happily. "Yep. I was raised to be a breeder, but then I got given away, and I wasn't going to be fixed, so I ran away. I really want kittens." 

Gabe nods, licking Brendon's paw. "Yes, yes. Very reasonable. Now, would you object to having kittens with me? I've always wanted kittens of my very own as well." Nate makes a disgruntled noise and Gabe amends. "Kittens that actually came from my loins." Brendon has no idea what that means. 

"I'm pretty sure that's not--" Alex starts, but Ryland nudges him. 

"No, no, let him do it. It'll be fun to watch," he says, grinning mischievously. Alex sighs but nods. 

"As I was saying," Gabe says pointedly. "Do you think that could work for you?" 

Brendon takes the time while Gabe is washing his back to think it over. He really does want kittens, and Gabe is nice. He's fun, too, and Brendon probably wouldn't object to having kittens with him. 

"They'd pretty much be the cutest kittens in the world," Gabe says winningly. 

"Okay," Brendon says, nodding. He wants his kittens to be cute, definitely. 

Gabe smiles. "So, during your next cycle, you'll come over here, right?" he asks. 

Brendon nods. He's going to have kittens.

\---

Before Brendon really realizes it, it's been almost two months. He's amazed at how much time has passed, because before, he would count every day he was away from home. Now, he barely thinks about it. 

There's someone at the door and Ryan goes to answer it. Whoever is out there, he doesn't smell like anyone Brendon's ever met, so he goes to investigate. He winds his way around Ryan's legs, looking up at the strange, colourful man. 

"Hello," he meows. 

The man grins and looks down at him. "Hi, my name is the Butcher. I'm here to talk to your cat. I'm friends with one of your friends? Pete Wentz?" 

Ryan makes a confused noise. "You…are here to talk to my cat. No, wait, you're a friend of Pete's, so. Yeah, I can see that. Would you like to come in? Have something to drink?" 

The Butcher says, "hello there," and Brendon tilts his head to the side. He didn't know humans could speak cat. Ryan goes back inside when Butcher squats down and says, "it's nice to meet you. What's your name?" 

\---

The Butcher is a really nice guy. He gets on his back and holds Brendon over his head when he talks to him and Brendon thinks it's really fun. Butcher can apparently talk to more than one kind of animal, it turns out. He's been able to do it since he was a kid. 

"Who told you to come talk to me?" Brendon asks, batting down at Butcher's nose. 

Butcher smiles. "Patrick. Last time I was over at Pete's, he told me that you and I probably had about the same mind processing abilities. He's sort of a bitch, that one."

Laughing, Brendon nods. "He sort of is. You notice how he's obsessed with Pete?" 

"Shit yeah," Butcher says. "Like anybody could not notice, seriously." He smiles when Ryan comes back outside. "There anybody else you think I should talk to?" he asks Brendon, placing Brendon on his chest to take the tea. 

"In the house over there, there are four cats. You would probably like them," Brendon says, and Butcher nods. 

"Ahh, that hits the spot," he says, and Brendon can still understand him, but he's not speaking in cat. It's probably for Ryan's benefit. "Would you happen to have a couch I could crash on for the night?" he asks Ryan. 

Taking a sip of his tea, Ryan nods. "Yeah, sure. Just let me set it up." Ryan doesn't sound too terribly thrilled, but Brendon's learned that that's just how he sounds on default.

"You're staying the night, then?" he asks Butcher, purring as he butts up against his chin.

Butcher continues petting him where he left off. "Yeah, dude, sure. Why not?" 

\---

Butcher doesn't leave Ryan's house until three days later. He spends the second day next door, communing with a circle of cats around him, Brendon on his lap in the middle. They talk about all sorts of things and Gabe decides he really likes Butcher and that he can come back whenever he wants. He even lets Butcher hold Nate, which he doesn't let anyone but Victoria do. It's sort of a big deal. 

The last day, he walks around the house with Brendon draped over his shoulder in a boneless line. Brendon has become terribly fond of Butcher. It's nice having a human that understands him. 

"Don't worry, Ryan. I'll be back soon," Butcher says, grinning. He deposits Brendon into Ryan's waiting arms with a soft smile. "He's really happy here, Ryan. You're a really good owner. So, I'll see you soon!" He waves and walks out the door 

"That is one fucking weird guy," Ryan tells Brendon, patting his head absently. 

"Yup," Brendon meows back. 

\---

A little while after Butcher leaves, Ryan comes home one day and he smells really sad. He doesn't say anything or do anything out of the ordinary, but Brendon can smell that he's not happy. He wonders what happened. 

Brendon stretches out on Ryan's bed--where he sleeps every day because it's lonely if he doesn't and Ryan always pets him before he falls asleep--taking up much more room than necessary, but he's a cat and he does what he wants. 

Ryan comes into the room and sits down next to Brendon, petting his stomach with slow strokes. He finally opens his mouth and says, "I'm really lonely, Oscar. I guess I didn't notice it at all until I realized the only person I talk to is you." Ryan scrubs both hands through his hair, then fixes it and says, "Not that it matters or anything. Whatever." 

Brendon rolls over onto his stomach and buries his nose under his paws. Ryan strokes down his back once before getting up and going to make them both dinner. 

After he's gone, Brendon sits on the bed and thinks for a very long time. 

\---

Brendon spends every night for a week doing what humans call wishing. He doesn't know who or what he's wishing to, but he still does it. Ryan hasn't said anything about being sad or lonely again, and he doesn't smell sad, but Brendon knows. After Ryan passes out at night, Brendon curls in a ball on Ryan's chest and wishes to whatever it is people and cats wish to. 

"I wish that I could become a human, so I could be with Ryan and he wouldn't have to be lonely, anymore," he says every night. Brendon is with Ryan, now, but as a cat, Ryan can't understand him, and Brendon knows that words are sort of important to Ryan. He puts a lot of himself into them. Ryan needs someone who can talk to him and who he can talk to. Brendon as he is now just isn't good enough. 

Ryan leaves one morning and Brendon starts to feel weird. His paws are tingly like they only get after he's moved a lot, and his whole body sort of hurts. A wave of nausea hits him and Brendon has to close his eyes or he's afraid he's going to throw up, like he does after he eats a lot of grass. 

After a few seconds or minutes or hours, Brendon opens his eyes. Everything looks...different. It's the only way he can describe it. Things look sort of smaller, from where he's lying. Which is on Ryan's bed, but it feels different, too. Brendon looks down at himself and almost chokes on the noise he makes. 

There is a pale, hairless human body where he's sitting. He moves one paw, but it's a human hand that twitches on the bed spread. With human fingers. Brendon makes a delighted noise and surges up, ready to run around and try out his new human body but as soon as he sets foot on the ground, he stumbles and falls down. 

His human legs don't seem to want to support him. He grasps onto the bedclothes and pulls himself up while his legs push up from the ground. It's weird; he feels like he did when he was a newborn and had to learn how to walk, but it's harder. He only has two legs to rely on. 

It takes a long time, but Brendon finally manages to get himself up and onto the bed again. He's not so sure he trusts himself to walk around the house and not fall down again and not be able to get up. That's not how he wants Ryan to find him. 

Finally, after what feels like a lot longer than Ryan usually takes, Ryan comes home. He comes to the bedroom immediately, because Brendon always naps in there when he can get away with it. Brendon is grinning, looking at the door when Ryan finally opens it. Ryan's smile goes away completely and he stares at Brendon with wide eyes. 

"Where the hell is my cat?" he says, followed immediately by, "Who the hell are you and where are your clothes?" Ryan looks him over, still looking like he doesn't know what to do and Brendon smiles. 

"I'm Oscar!" He tries to smile as wide as he can, with his new human mouth, so Ryan knows he's harmless. "Hi!" 

Ryan stares at him, still, then falls to the ground, eyes shut. 

"Ryan!" Brendon shouts, immediately scrambling off the bed and going to Ryan's side. His legs seem to have decided to work, because he doesn't fall and only feels a little wobbly. "Ryan?" he asks, poking Ryan in the arm. He notices, then, that he still has claws on his fingers. They look sort of strange, and he puts them in his mouth, to see if his teeth are long, too. Two of them are. He looks back at Ryan and curses. He seems to be just as easily distracted in his human body. 

Humans aren't, to his knowledge, supposed to close their eyes and fall on the floor. Not unless there's something wrong with them. Or so he's learned by watching television. But television is always right, so this can't be good. 

He pokes through Ryan's pockets, knowing that his phone will be in there. Ryan always has it on him, no matter what he's doing, and Brendon makes a happy noise when he finds it in Ryan's back pocket. 

It takes a while, but Brendon is able to get it open and he looks at it, unsure of what to do. He's never used a phone, and all the people on television always dial numbers and they're fine. Brendon doesn't know any numbers to dial. Really, he should probably call Spencer. 

Knowing he should call Spencer doesn't mean he knows how to do it. He holds down a button until he starts to hear a weird noise and he puts it up to his (human!) ear. The weird noise stops and someone says, "Hello? Ryan?" 

"Spencer?" Brendon asks, unsure if Spencer is supposed to sound the same or different over the phone. 

"No? What the hell?" the voice says. 

Brendon takes the phone away from his ear and presses a red button, because red always means end on television. He holds another button down until that weird noise comes back and he brings it back to his ear. 

"What's up, Ross?" a voice asks. 

"Spencer?" Brendon asks again. 

"...Yeah? Who is this?" 

Brendon makes a happy noise. "Spencer! Spencer, you have to come right now. Ryan fell down and his eyes are closed and he won't wake up when I poke him." 

"What the hell?" Spencer asks, and Brendon wonders if all humans say that a lot. "Who is this? Where's Ryan? Let me talk to him." 

"I told you," Brendon says, sighing. "He fell down and I don't know what to do. You have to come over because I'm pretty sure humans aren't supposed to fall down with their eyes shut. That usually means bad things." 

"What--" Spencer starts, but Brendon presses the red button again and puts the phone down beside Ryan. He's pretty sure Spencer will come. He really likes Ryan, so that means he'll come. 

In the meantime, Brendon waits on the floor next to Ryan and inspects his new body.

\---   
  


Ryan eventually wakes up, and Brendon has to convince both him and Spencer that he really is Oscar, even though his name is Brendon and he doesn't look like a cat anymore. He can tell Spencer doesn't believe him--although Brendon has no idea why. There's no reason for it not to be the truth. 

It takes a while, but Ryan starts to look like maybe he believes that what Brendon is telling him is the truth. Brendon knew Ryan was the best owner for him. Of course he would believe that Brendon is who he says he is. 

Spencer leaves pretty quickly after everything, making a face at Brendon and giving Ryan one of those looks that means something Brendon doesn't understand yet. He's pretty much going to have to figure out what all Spencer's looks mean, now. He's excited to make Spencer love him. Because he's sure he can make that happen, now that he's a human. 

After Spencer leaves, Ryan looks at him like he doesn't know what he's supposed to do with him. Brendon smiles and keeps hugging him, because Ryan is soft in all the parts he's not bony, and he smells familiar and nice and like Ryan still, even though everything in the house smells differently. 

\---

The next morning, Ryan leaves for work--as he tells Brendon--even though Brendon begs him not to leave. 

"I can't not go, Brendon," Ryan says, buttoning up his suit jacket. "It's my job and if I don't go, I don't get paid. Which I need to get, because this house doesn't pay for itself." He gives Brendon a small smile and pats him on the head before he leaves. 

Brendon stares after him for a few minutes, pouting. He doesn't want to be alone in the house when he's human. He wants to go running or play or eat more human food or something. Not just sit on the couch.

There's nothing much he can do but go to the living room. He sheds the shirt that Ryan had wrestled on him the night before, and spends the next hour trying to figure the television out. When he finally gets it on, he watches whatever is on. 

It's not a program they usually watch, but it's got loud sounds and a lot of flashing lights, so Brendon's pretty enthralled. 

\---

In the next few days, Ryan and Brendon argue about having to be dressed, Ryan having to go to work, and what Brendon is supposed to do all day. He’s bored and he doesn’t like having to be alone. They also figure out that Brendon can’t sleep alone, either. He tried sleeping in the guest room, where Ryan put him, but he woke up cold and alone and crawled into Ryan’s bed, where it was warm and smelled like Ryan. 

Brendon is fighting with Ryan about having to eat cereal when the doorbell rings. He doesn’t pay attention to Ryan getting up; he’s too interested in playing with his food. Ryan finally gets back and Brendon looks up, smile spreading across his face as soon as he sees who’s with him. 

“Butcher!” he cries out, holding his arms out for the Butcher to give him a hug. Butcher hugs him and Brendon’s far too excited to really pay attention to what’s being said.

\---

After Ryan leaves, Butcher climbs onto the counter, legs spread and smile on his face. “How’ve you been, little buddy?” he asks, kicking his feet against the cabinets. Ryan wouldn’t like it. 

Smiling, Brendon shrugs. “Good. Ryan treats me well.” His smile turns a little shy when he thinks about Ryan. 

“Hey,” Butcher says, holding his arms out. “C’mere.” 

Brendon clambers off of his chair and onto the counter with Butcher in the blink of an eye. There’s a few seconds where it feels like they’re both going to fall onto the floor, but Butcher pulls back and they manage to keep their perch. 

“So this is a good place for you then?” Butcher asks as soon as their situated. Brendon is clinging onto his chest, nuzzling underneath his chin as he purrs. 

“Very good,” Brendon agrees. “Ryan is a very good owner. He is very kind to me. I like him a lot.” 

Butcher nods, smiling. “Your wish came true, then. I’m glad. I think you’ll make a really good human.” 

Purring louder, Brendon curls up in Butcher’s lap, content to spend the rest of the afternoon there. 

\---

Another month goes by and Brendon re-meets everyone in his human form. Everything is very good for him, even if he’s pretty sure Patrick is insane. He even learns from a combination of Pete, Jon’s romance novels, and television that he’s in love with Ryan. Or, well, he’s pretty sure that’s what it is, anyways. His heart gets all fluttery whenever Ryan is near him and he gets sad whenever Ryan’s gone at work. Brendon’s pretty sure it’s one-sided, but he’s okay with that. As long as he gets to spend his time with Ryan, that’s all that matters.

He finally convinces Ryan to let him stay home when Pete calls to say he’s sick. Brendon isn’t sure why exactly Ryan doesn’t want him to stay home alone, since he let him do so before. Maybe he’s just going mad from work. Spencer always complains about how it affects him, so it must be that. 

Brendon spends the day going through all the drawers and cabinets he’s never gone through. He doesn’t think Ryan would mind, but he doesn’t want to bother Ryan while he’s home to do it. He finally ends up in the bedroom, in Ryan’s closet. There’s a small box all the way on top of a shelf and Brendon wants it. Getting onto his tiptoes, he finally reaches it, bringing it down and putting it on the floor. When he opens it, the only thing inside is a long squishy thing.

Frowning, Brendon picks it up, and shakes it, wondering if it’s got a rattle in it. It doesn’t make any noise, but Brendon twists the base to the side and it starts to vibrate. Brendon laughs in delight and drops it onto the floor, batting at it with his hands. 

He’s so distracted playing with it that he doesn’t even notice that Ryan’s home until he’s bursting through the door, eyes wide. "B-Brendon, where did you get that?" he stammers out, face getting red. 

Brendon bats at his toy, sending it under the bed, and looks up at Ryan. "Hi, Ryan! I was bored, so I went through all the boxes in your closet, and I found that! It whirrs and makes fun noises! How come you didn't tell me you had cat toys?" 

Ryan’s face gets even redder. "Brendon…that's not. You can't play with that. It's. Jesus, Brendon, it's a sex toy, not a cat toy." Ryan looks away from Brendon, looking embarrassed. 

"Oh, okay. What's sex?" Brendon asks, looking up at Ryan with a big smile. 

"You, um. That. What?" Ryan asks, sounding funny 

"Sex! What is it? Do you always have to use toys to play it? That one was fun; can I have sex, too?" Brendon asks, reaching under the bed to try to grab the vibrator. He grabs it in his mouth to pull it back out, and it feels funny on his tongue. Weirdly soft. 

"Fuck, you know what?" Ryan takes out his cell and calls somebody. Brendon can hear the other person, but not what they’re saying. Ryan holds the phone out to Brendon. "Here, talk to him. I know you've never met him, but he'll be able to help you." 

Brendon takes the phone and chirps, "What's sex! Can I have one?" into the mouth piece. Ryan cringes and leaves the room before Brendon can ask where he’s going. 

“Uh, hi?” the voice says, sounding confused. “Who is this? Why did Ryan call me? I didn’t even know he had my number…” 

“This is Brendon!” Brendon says happily, climbing onto the bed and getting comfortable. “Who is this?” 

“Gerard? I don’t think we’ve met…What were you saying about sex again?”Gerard asks. There’s a shuffling noise and Brendon guesses he’s getting comfortable, too. 

“Ryan said to ask you what sex is and if I can have one, too.” Brendon moves so that his face is pressed into the pillow and he can inhale Ryan’s scent. Brendon loves Ryan’s scent. 

There’s a pause from Gerard before a sharp inhale. “Seriously? Um. That’s…a weird question to ask.” There’s another pause but Brendon doesn’t interrupt. He sees no need to. “Well, um…” 

\---

Brendon spends a good half-hour just listening to Gerard, not speaking at all. He learns all about sex—which is not what Brendon thought it would be, not at all—and consent and all sorts of other things that Brendon didn’t know humans could do with their bodies. He can’t look Ryan directly in the face for a while after the conversation with Gerard, but after a while, Brendon goes into the living room and snuggles into Ryan’s side. 

He takes a deep breath, inhaling Ryan’s scent again. It makes Brendon pause for a second before he sniffs again. Something about Ryan’s scent is wrong, off. There’s something under the usual smell of ink and paper and dust. Something…weird. 

“Ryan?” he asks, looking concerned. 

Ryan is still red faced and he doesn’t meet Brendon’s eyes. “What?” His voice is weird, too. 

Brendon frowns. “Are you okay?” 

Finally, Ryan looks at him, brows furrowed. “What? Nothing’s wrong. How was your chat?” He keeps looking at Brendon, even if his cheeks are still red. 

Taking another sniff, Brendon shrugs, feeling something weird in his stomach again. “It was good,” he says vaguely, moving back down so his head is on Ryan’s thigh. They both stop talking and watch television. 

\---

Brendon wakes up the next morning and needs. Ryan’s already gone and for some reason, that makes Brendon’s stomach clench in a very unpleasant way. For the first time since he’s become a human, Brendon notices his penis for something other than the need to urinate. Gerard told him all about getting hard and masturbating and everything, but Brendon doesn’t think that’s going to be enough. 

He gets out of bed, throwing off his sleep clothes almost frantically. Brendon feels too hot, even without his clothes on, but he’s not sure what to do. Ryan told him not to mess with the A/C, but Brendon doesn’t think that would make a difference either. 

Everything smells like Ryan, even more than usual, and it’s driving Brendon crazy. He goes to the laundry hamper and digs through until he finds a shirt Ryan was wearing the other day and presses it against his nose, inhaling. The smell of Ryan on the shirt goes straight to his dick in a way that’s almost painful. 

Brendon crawls back onto the bed, face still pressed to Ryan’s shirt. He grabs his cock in one hand and squeezes as he takes his next inhale. The sensation makes Brendon gasp. All he can smell around him is Ryan, and it makes something in his head go absolutely crazy. It only takes a few tugs before he comes all across the bedspread. Ryan won’t like that, but Brendon couldn’t help it. 

Now that he’s come, the pressure is somewhat gone, but he’s still half-hard. He carefully picks up Ryan’s shirt with his unstained hand and puts it back in the hamper. No need to get anything else dirty. 

After he cleans the bed up with some bathroom tissue, Brendon stalks around the house, irritated that Ryan isn’t home, yet. Ryan should be home, should be with Brendon right now. Not off away at some stupid job. Brendon looks at the clock and knows it’ll be hours before Ryan comes back. There’s no way he’ll last that long. 

The doorbell rings and Brendon ducks down, crawling over to the window so he can peek out without anyone seeing him. He’s surprised to see Pete and Jon on the front porch, talking to each other. Pete rings the doorbell again, pounding on the door after he’s done. 

“Brendon!” Pete shout and Brendon can see Jon rolling his eyes. “Jon and I are here. We were thinking of going out to the park with Patrick, Clover and Dylan, and we wanted to know if you wanted to go!” 

“Why do you have to shout all that when no one’s even answered the door?” Jon asks. “Maybe he’s not here.” 

Brendon looks Pete and Jon over with a critical. Pete is not an unattractive person, but Brendon’s pretty sure Patrick would destroy him if he lay one claw on him. Jon is also very attractive, and unclaimed. Jon could probably serve Brendon’s needs. 

But, no. Brendon shakes his head, moving away from the window so he’s not tempted. The heat in his belly is pooling, and something in his head is telling him to get out there and pounce one of them right now, but something else is whispering But what about Ryan? Brendon could never betray Ryan like that. 

Pete knocks on the door again and Brendon decides it’s better if he goes back to his and Ryan’s room, so he doesn’t get tempted to open the door for them. It was going to be a very, very long day. 

\---

After Ryan’s initial denial and discomfort, he seems to show no other hesitation when it comes to Brendon and sex. He has this stupid need to sleep and use the restroom and eat, which Brendon doesn’t understand, because the heat beneath his skin just won’t let up. He doesn’t have enough time to eat or sleep or piss; not unless his body forces him to, anyways.

Being with Ryan has spoiled Brendon of any other person in the world. Which is probably for the best, since Brendon never plans on ever letting Ryan go, anyways. He’s not sure if Ryan realizes it, yet, but that’s how it’s going to be. 

“Brendon, Jesus, you gotta let me rest,” Ryan pants. He’s on his back, limbs spread completely, chest heaving with the effort it takes to breathe. There’s a sheen of sweat all over his body and the sheets are probably beyond saving, but Brendon doesn’t care. 

“Why do you have to rest?” Brendon asks, voice huskier than it’s supposed to be. He has to catch his breath, but he can already feel heat stirring in his cock again. It’s already been five minutes, that should be enough time for Ryan to have rested. Brendon doesn’t think he could rest even if he wanted to. 

Ryan turns to look at him. His cheeks are red and Brendon wants to lick them. “Some of us aren’t crazy hormonal creatures that can go at the drop of a hat. Some of us can’t physically get it up that quickly.” 

Brendon looks down at Ryan’s cock, which is soft against his leg. “Do you need me to help?” he asks, grabbing the still-slick skin and squeezing. 

“Fuck, stop,” Ryan says, making a pained noise and trying to shift away from Brendon’s touch. “Too soon, too soon,” he complains. Brendon lets go with an exasperated noise. “Let me get something to eat, in both of us, and we can watch television for a bit, and if you need it, we can come back in an hour or so.” 

Frowning, Brendon nods. He doesn’t want to eat, or watch television, or rest. He’s not sure his body will let him. As Ryan leads him out of the room, both of them still naked, Brendon figures he can convince Ryan to fuck him on the couch. 

\---

Brendon nuzzles Ryan’s throat, letting out a content noise. His leg is thrown possessively over Ryan’s hips. For the first time in a week, the heat under his skin has died away after he came. It’s the first time his head has been so clear. Brendon doesn’t fear that now that he’s not in heat anymore, Ryan isn’t going to want to be with him anymore. That only happens in books and on television. Besides, he’s a cat, not a human. Why would Ryan ever want to leave him? 

“Ryan. Ryan, get up. You gotta go to work. Ryaaan…" Brendon pokes at Ryan’s cheek, smiling at the disgruntled noise Ryan makes. 

Completely ignoring him, Ryan mutters to himself and tries to burrow into the sheets. Brendon thinks it’s adorable. 

"No, really. You need to go in and earn money and grade papers and crush dreams. Come on, Ry. Get up, please." 

“Dun wanna,” Ryan mumbles, still trying to hide himself away from Brendon and the light of morning. 

Brendon smiles down at him, giggles and presses a soft kiss to the top of Ryan's head. "C'mon, Ryan. Breakfast is on the table. Get cleaned and I'll set your clothes out." 

Ryan makes more incoherent noises as Brendon leaves the room, heading off to the kitchen. If there’s one thing Ryan deserves after the week he’s had to put up with from Brendon, it’s a really nice, hearty breakfast. And a shower. He sort of smells overwhelmingly of spunk. Not that Brendon’s complaining, but Ryan’s coworkers probably wouldn’t appreciate it. 

Brendon hums to himself as he makes breakfast. 

\---

Being with Ryan is even better than just living with him. Brendon can spend as much time as he wants snuggling with Ryan and watching television with him or doing stupid everyday things, but he can also drag Ryan back to their room and they can have sex and it’s awesome. Brendon didn’t think he would enjoy it so much, when he was out of heat, but he really does.

They’re watching television again when Ryan turns and says "Hey, Bren? Can I ask you a question?" Brendon hums and continues to watch the program. "You don't still think of me as your owner, do you?" he asks, tugging on Brendon's hair lightly. 

"Huh?" Brendon turns his head so that he's staring at Ryan instead of the television. "No, of course I don't. People aren't owned, anymore. Jon told me there was a law and everything about it. And since I'm a people, nobody can own me, either." He grins, proud of himself for remembering what Jon had been so insistent he learn. 

Ryan nods. "That's right, Brendon. I'm glad you know that." He's quiet for long enough that Brendon turns back to watch the television. "You should also know that I love you, okay? I want you to know that." 

Brendon turns his head again and blinks up at Ryan for a few seconds before smiling. "Yeah, I know that," he says softly. He licks his lips and glances away for a split second before looking back. "I love you, too." 

"Really?" Ryan asks, sounding surprised. 

Brendon rolls his eyes; Ryan really never did pay attention to anything. "Really," he says, voice firm. "You didn't know already?" 

"Uh-uh," Ryan shakes his head. 

"Why else would I want to have kittens with you?" Brendon asks, sounding actually curious. He moves it's easier for him to look up at Ryan. 

Ryan shrugs, scratching his nose. "I didn't know you wanted to, actually," he says, making Brendon roll his eyes again. 

"That's why I had so much sex with you, stupid. I wanted kittens with you. If I didn't, I could have opened the door before you came home and let Pete or Jon in." He plays with the edges of Ryan's vest, scraping the threads carefully with his claws, a little embarrassed to admit it. 

"Oh, um. I didn't know anyone came over." Brendon nods and Ryan looks down at his stomach, eyes a little wide. "You, ah, you aren't actually pregnant, are you?" he asks, sounding nervous again. 

Brendon looks away, chest heavy with the admission. "No. I…didn't think I would be, but I had to try. Because I wanted them to be yours," he says, looking up at Ryan with wide eyes.

Ryan stares at him for a while before saying, "Oh." Brendon smiles a tiny smile and reaches up to bring Ryan's head closer to his for a kiss. He might not have his kittens, but he definitely has his Ryan. 

\---

The day Ryan brings home their kittens is the day Brendon knows for sure that his decision to become human was the best one he could ever have made. They’re just so tiny and adorable and needy, and Brendon’s heart couldn’t be any fuller. 

They’re supposed to stay in the living room or the spare room, but Brendon can’t bring himself to make them sleep all alone without him. What if they need him in the night? Or they get cold or scared? And Ryan can never say no to Brendon’s big, sad eyes when he asks if they can stay in their room. 

Brendon still can’t understand what they’re saying and—going against Patrick’s “better judgment”—he wants them to be able to name themselves, so it’s hard to communicate with them. Ryan calls them kittens one through four, but Brendon always scowls when he says it.

“Calling them that makes it seem like they’re not individuals, Ryan! Do you want your kittens to grow up thinking you only think of them as units?” Brendon asks, pointing an accusing finger at Ryan. The image is hampered by the fact that boy-kitten with the white neck is hanging off his shirt, meowing at him insistently. 

Rolling his eyes, Ryan scoops the kitten up and holds him to his chest. “Of course not, Brendon. But until they get names, it’s what’s easiest. They’re still not talking to you?” 

Pouting, Brendon shakes his head. “No, not yet. I keep talking to them all day when you go to work, but I never understand anything they say back. I hope this doesn’t last long.” He pets the kitten Ryan’s holding with one finger, smiling slightly when a loud purr starts up. 

“Where are the rest of them, anyways?” Ryan asks, watching Brendon with a smile. 

“Um, oh, the orange one is with Patrick again and the others are with Spencer and Jon in the living room.” 

Ryan winces when the kitten bites his thumb. His milk teeth are still really sharp. “Is it a good idea to leave him with Patrick? Or the others with Spencer? 

Brendon waves a hand, collecting the kitten back. “It’ll be fine. Patrick’s the safe kind of crazy. And Jon totally would never let anything happen.” Ryan makes a face, but doesn’t comment. 

\---

“Curtains? Really?” Ryan frowns and looks down at the kitten climbing up Brendon’s shirt. Brendon had learned fast that he had to have clothes on around the kittens, or they’d try to climb his skin, instead. 

“Yup,” Brendon says, nodding. “That’s what he says.” 

Ryan’s nose scrunches. “But why?” 

“It’s my favorite place to sleep behind!” Curtains chirps, finally finding his perch on Brendon’s shoulder and looking up at the top of his head in contemplation. “There’s always a lot of sun and they smell good and no one bothers me there,” he continues, having decided making that leap is too much for even him.

Brendon turns his head and eyes him. “Don’t even think about it. If you scratch up my pretty face, your daddy won’t love me anymore.” 

“Brendon!” 

“Ew, gross!” 

Laughing, Brendon waves Ryan off. “He says it’s his favorite place, so that’s his name. Curtains. It’s cute!” Ryan scowls at him and Brendon grabs his arm, tugging him down on the couch so they can cuddle. Curtains jumps down onto Brendon’s lap, purring and kneading his jeans. “One down, three to go,” Brendon says, pressing a kiss to Ryan’s cheek. 

Ryan rolls his eyes. “Great. Can’t wait to see what comes next.” 

\---

In the corner, Jon is making a noise that sounds suspiciously like he’s choking to death on his laughter. Spencer glares at him, then glares at Brendon, fists on his hips. “I don’t believe you. You’re making that up to embarrass me,” he accuses. 

Brendon stares at him with wide eyes. “No, no! Of course I’m not lying!” He’s holding the other black kitten in his hands, shielding her from Spencer’s accusations. “She really said that!”

“What’s going on?” Ryan asks, walking into the room. Spencer turns on him, pointing with a menacing finger. 

“SpencerSmith told me her name today. She says she wants her daddy to love her as much as he loves Spencer, so she named herself SpencerSmith. Isn’t that right, baby?” Brendon asks the black kitten. 

She licks his nose. “Well, you didn’t have to say all of that,” she says, but purrs and rubs against his cheek. 

From his corner, Jon’s choking noise has escalated to a concerning pitch. “Oh, oh, Spencer,” he says, voice strained. “She wants her daddy to love her like he loves you! Oh, Jesus, this is priceless. It couldn’t be better if I wrote it myself.” 

Spencer goes back to glaring at Jon. “You shut your mouth, asshole.” It just sends Jon into more laughter. 

“I’m also going to live with him, when I get bigger, because Spencer is my favourite,” SpencerSmith says, purr vibrating her whole body. 

Trying to hide a smile, Brendon relays her message to them. Spencer splutters and Jon howls with laughter. 

Ryan only nods. “It’s to be expected, of course. Any kitten of mine should have exquisite taste.” For some reason, that just sends Jon off again.

\---

“Patrick says it’s the best thing humans have made besides music. I think if I had that for my name, he’d be a little less cranky all the time. He’s not always that cranky, I think Pete just rubs him the wrong way,” Argyle babbles. Brendon almost wonders how Patrick puts up with him, then remembers that Patrick had to put up with Brendon for a while, and doesn’t wonder anymore. 

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” he asks, petting the top of Argyle’s orange little head. 

Argyle gives his best approximation of a nod. “It’s what I want.” He butts up against Brendon’s fingers, making him smile. 

“Okay. I’ll go tell your dad. I’m not sure how he’ll take it.” Brendon thinks he’ll probably go on again about argyle versus paisley, and Brendon will just tune him out. Or distract him with sex. Either or is pretty good for him. 

\---

Brendon is sprawled on the living room floor, taking a little nap when his grey kitten flops onto his stomach, startling him awake. He flails a little, but manages not to send his son onto the floor. “I’m awake, I’m awake. What’s going on?” 

“What’s dad’s favorite colour?” he asks, kneading into Brendon’s shirt with his sharp claws. 

Wincing, Brendon shrugs. He doesn’t push him away, because he loves all his kittens, but it turns out human skin is sort of vulnerable to sharp little kitten claws. “Dunno. Want me to ask?” 

“Yes, please.” 

Brendon tips his head back and takes a deep breath. “Ryan!” he shouts as loud as he can. “Ryan we have a question for you!” 

“What?” Ryan shouts back, probably in his study. “Why are you shouting?” 

“What’s your favorite colour?” 

“What? Why does that matter?” 

“Just answer the damn question!” Brendon looks down at his kitten. “Don’t use bad words.” 

“Periwinkle! You know you can come here instead of shouting at me!” 

Brendon ignores him and turns to his kitten. “Periwinkle is his favourite colour.” 

“Okay. That’s what my name is, then,” Periwinkle says, nodding. “If it’s dad’s favorite color, then that’s what I want my name to be.” 

Smiling at Periwinkle, Brendon can feel his heart bursting. “That’s a great name, then.” Fuck, he loves his family. 

\---

Two different pairs of tiny claws are kneading at Brendon’s chest and thigh respectively. He has a moment to be thankful Ryan made him put on some boxers before they passed out before Ryan’s unhappy noise alerts him to the location of his other kittens. He opens one eye to see Curtains and Argyle on him, purring with their eyes closed as they get ready to sleep. 

That means SpencerSmith and Periwinkle are with Ryan, waking him up with their tiny claws of doom—as Brendon likes to call them. Ryan flails out an arm and hits Brendon in the face with his hand, but Brendon isn’t offended. He grabs the hand and presses a kiss to the palm before holding it tightly in his own. 

“They’re your kittens,” Ryan mutters, half-asleep already. “You tell them.” 

“They’re yours, too, stupid,” Brendon says back, smiling. None of the kittens say anything, too content in their warm spots on their dads. Ryan rubs his thumb against Brendon’s knuckles, and Brendon knows without being able to see that he’s smiling. 

“Yeah,” Ryan says. “They are, aren’t they?” 

Brendon closes his eyes, feeling so full of love at that moment that he might die of it. “Yeah, they are.”

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was taken off the [ Big God Damn Masterlist](https://fobfics.tumblr.com/post/34177428707/okubyokitsunes-big-goddamn-masterlistpdf/) you can use that link to download the pdf of almost 500 pages of bandom fic.


End file.
